So Your Roommate's An INTJ...

So you find yourself rooming with an INTJ. How this happened is beyond you, since you were under the impression that INTJs were antisocial hermits, who lived alone in dark, dank warrens... or in some bizarre contradiction of an antisocial commune of the type.

If you are not an INTJ yourself, chances are that next year will find you scrambling to get out of your lease, in a sudden and terribly confusing shouting match, curled up in the farthest corner of your room twitching and scrawling an itemized list of your roommate's many foibles on the wall in black crayon, or with the body of your INTJ flatmate tucked securely under your floorboards.

Unless, of course, you have the wisdom of an INTJ to guide you through this potentially harrowing experience.

Generally, INTJ housemates require little maintenance. Leave them to their space and don't make any drastic changes to the furniture arrangements, and you will hardly even know they are there (apart from the regular occurrences of the coffee pot emptying overnight and an accordingly scoured bathroom). But there are a number of triggers which could send your tidy and withdrawn INTJ into a rage from which your relationship and your living space might never recover. Here's how to avoid them.

1. Identify your INTJ's territory. Leave it alone. AT. ALL. COSTS.
INTJs are fastidious creatures. They keep their stuff ordered and tidy (unless it's a mess of hook-up cable, LEDs, and solder, although I'm sure they have a system for it). The good news is that they will keep common areas and items tidy as well. The bad news is that if you mess up their stuff or especially their space, they will freak out. If your INTJ has his/her own room, don't go near it without permission. If they don't, and in common areas, they will probably sequester the stuff they feel is personal property in a certain corner or cubby. Leave it alone unless they give you permission to use it, and if you do, return it as you found it. If you want your stuff left alone too, feel free to tell your INTJ. They will be happy to accommodate your request... although, if you let them use your stuff, they will often return it cleaner and more organized than you had it before.

2. Tell 'Em How You Want It
INTJs are either incapable of or uninterested in playing guessing games with your feelings. No matter how many times you sigh disconsolately when they play trip-hop during their late night study sessions, your INTJ will continue to do it until you TELL them otherwise. The good news is that INTJs deal with confrontation extremely well (some people accuse them of relishing it). Being direct is the best way to deal with them, and rather than being offended by hearing your specific expectations for the space-sharing situation, they will be pleased to know exactly how the situation stands. Generally, INTJs are accepting of suggestions or expectations that are reasonable and don't violate any of their expectations of how a house/dorm/apartment should run. State exactly what you want (I'd prefer if we left the windows open at night instead of running the air conditioning) and why you want it (because the vent is right by my bed and it gets extremely cold). You might even get an innovative solution from your problem-solving INTJ (what if we close your vent at night instead, because my room is upstairs and it gets too hot to sleep without the A/C).

3. Be Reasonable
INTJs are logic-driven. You can argue with them until you're blue in the face, but unless you can provide a sound reason for your side of the argument, all you will get is blue in the face. That said, if you have a good reason for something or even if you don't but you can discuss it calmly and rationally, an INTJ will probably hear you out pretty agreeably. Be specific and concise, and don't appeal to their emotions (INTJs don't have any).

4. Yours, Mine, and Ours
INTJs usually have pretty set standards for how they expect people to behave. They are often higher than most peoples' standards, but as long as you keep the mess and mayhem out of their defined territory, they're usually content to let you under-perform their expectations. However, in their own space, they will be absolutely intolerant of any failure to meet expectations of cleanliness and conduct, as is their right. In your own space, you are welcome to do as you please. In common space, they will probably be displeased but non-confrontational as long as you meet the bare minimums (talking about your expectations for common space right away is recommended to find out what the range of expectations is), but be warned, INTJs will not put a lot of effort into spaces or circumstances where their expectations aren't being met. If you have decided to share dishwasher duty but never rinse your dishes before loading them, don't be surprised if your INTJ leaves your spotty dishes in there when he/shes unloads it.

Good luck with your housing adventures... although if you are an ENFP, I'd start looking to sublet.